Special days after a separation can be difficult, particularly if there is no structured agreement in place or if tensions with the other parent remain high.
The importance of the role of both parents in a child’s life, unless there are welfare concerns, is now paramount and the role of one parent should not be diminished over the other. The tide has certainly turned and shared care is becoming the norm and rightly so. Shared care does not always mean equal time, but will depend on what is best for the children in their own particular circumstances.
That said, all too often we see one parent seeking to dictate the arrangements or diminish the importance of the role of the other. So how can this be navigated and what about special days like Father’s Day?
If you and the other parent have already agreed arrangements for your child and these are working well, then if Father’s Day falls on a weekend when the child is with the other parent, you could ask in good time in advance to alter the arrangements on this day. Flexibility on both sides usually aids a better co-parenting relationship.
If you are the other parent, think about encouraging the child to make a card or purchasing a small gift from the child to help maintain those amicable relations. You could also think about drawing up a parenting plan to deal with alternative arrangements you had not thought of. The Cafcass website is a useful resource for all separating parents.
It is important for a child to have stability and routine and for the child to have both parent’s involved in their lives, provided it is safe or appropriate. As such, if you are not seeing your children regularly without good reason, you could consider inviting the other parent to mediation to try and discuss this further this could include special days like father’s day.
It is important that arrangements do not drift for too long; the longer contact is not in place, the harder this can be to rebuild, particularly where older children are involved. If you feel the other parent is being unreasonable, consider taking legal advice about the options and way forward.
It is unlikely to be proportionate to apply to the court over Father’s Day alone, but if there are inadequate arrangements in place, then there is a court process that can be followed to help establish sensible arrangements. Within these proceedings, special days such as birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s or Father’s Day can be factored in.
It is also possible to use arbitration to resolve children disputes, if the other parent will agree to engage with this process. Arbitration results in a binding outcome and will typically be much more cost and time effective to resolve. It is possible for us to involve an independent social worker to help provide recommendations and to work with your family.
If you require any help in relation to private family law matters, please contact one of our experienced family team who are here to help.
